1
00:00:00,028 --> 00:00:04,087
[adult Sheldon] Previously on
Young Sheldon...

2
00:00:04,088 --> 00:00:05,715
Hello, I'm Sheldon Cooper.

3
00:00:05,882 --> 00:00:09,052
And this is "Why Sheldon Cooper
Should Go to College."

4
00:00:09,053 --> 00:00:11,470
Which is why I'm proposing
that I live at home,

5
00:00:11,471 --> 00:00:14,264
but enroll full time
to continue my studies with Dr. Sturgis

6
00:00:14,265 --> 00:00:15,642
at East Texas Tech.

7
00:00:16,267 --> 00:00:17,317
Hi, Mary.

8
00:00:18,102 --> 00:00:21,105
I know this must be
a hard decision for you,

9
00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:23,525
but if you let him come here,

10
00:00:23,983 --> 00:00:26,194
I promise we'll take good care of him.

11
00:00:28,363 --> 00:00:30,907
Sheldon Cooper, ready for college.

12
00:00:30,990 --> 00:00:32,784
Ready to change the world.

13
00:00:33,117 --> 00:00:34,410
[Dr. Sturgis] Cut.

14
00:00:34,494 --> 00:00:37,624
If that doesn't convince her,
I don't know what her problem is.

15
00:00:40,218 --> 00:00:44,962
I'm excited to finally use
college ruled paper

16
00:00:44,963 --> 00:00:46,631
and not feel like I'm living a lie.

17
00:00:46,965 --> 00:00:48,424
What's college ruled paper?

18
00:00:48,508 --> 00:00:50,718
The lines are 18% closer together.

19
00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:52,720
College sounds hard.

20
00:00:52,804 --> 00:00:54,914
You won't have to worry about that,
honey.

21
00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:56,182
Okay.

22
00:00:56,183 --> 00:00:58,767
Missy, don't forget
that you have to pick out a present

23
00:00:58,768 --> 00:01:00,148
for that birthday next week.

24
00:01:00,186 --> 00:01:01,854
Mom, it's Melissa now.

25
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:03,815
Middle school.

26
00:01:03,898 --> 00:01:04,948
Who's Melissa?

27
00:01:04,949 --> 00:01:05,941
Me.

28
00:01:05,942 --> 00:01:07,068
Then who's Missy?

29
00:01:07,151 --> 00:01:08,987
Missy is short for Melissa.

30
00:01:09,070 --> 00:01:11,114
Like how Billy is short for William.

31
00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:13,241
I don't understand.

32
00:01:13,825 --> 00:01:15,745
You know how your real name is William?

33
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:17,210
I'm Billy.

34
00:01:17,245 --> 00:01:20,123
No, we call you Billy,
but your real name is William.

35
00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:22,358
But my underpants say "Billy" on them.

36
00:01:24,002 --> 00:01:25,920
Mom, is my name William?

37
00:01:25,921 --> 00:01:27,629
Yeah.

38
00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:29,430
Then whose underpants am I wearing?

39
00:01:32,302 --> 00:01:34,304
[theme music playing]

40
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[Pastor Jeff] Thanks again.
Robin is gonna be thrilled with this.

41
00:01:56,326 --> 00:01:58,494
No, don't thank me. Thank Mary.

42
00:01:58,578 --> 00:02:00,330
She's the one who said I had to do it.

43
00:02:00,413 --> 00:02:01,553
Just out of curiosity,

44
00:02:01,554 --> 00:02:04,583
did she also mention helping me
build the crib at some point?

45
00:02:04,584 --> 00:02:05,634
No.

46
00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:07,420
Well, act surprised when she does.

47
00:02:08,046 --> 00:02:09,213
[engine sputtering]

48
00:02:09,297 --> 00:02:10,347
[Georgie] Come on...

49
00:02:13,635 --> 00:02:15,219
What do you think you're doing?

50
00:02:15,595 --> 00:02:17,096
Trying to get the bike started.

51
00:02:17,097 --> 00:02:18,555
Why?

52
00:02:18,556 --> 00:02:20,016
So I can ride it.

53
00:02:20,475 --> 00:02:21,934
Like hell you are.

54
00:02:22,018 --> 00:02:23,068
Sorry.

55
00:02:23,638 --> 00:02:25,729
You don't use it.

56
00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:27,357
'Cause your mother won't let me.

57
00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:28,691
And if I can't, you can't.

58
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If I get it running,
can I at least sell it?

59
00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:32,070
No.

60
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But it's just sitting here.
What's the point?

61
00:02:34,113 --> 00:02:35,281
Point is, I said no.

62
00:02:36,783 --> 00:02:39,733
I can't believe someone so lame
even owned a bike like this.

63
00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:46,929
Why are kids such a pain in the ass?

64
00:02:49,128 --> 00:02:50,508
I'm sure yours will be great.

65
00:02:53,383 --> 00:02:56,302
I think this cover
really says who I am now.

66
00:02:56,386 --> 00:02:58,262
That looks like all your notebooks.

67
00:02:58,346 --> 00:03:01,516
Missy got ponies. Melissa gets horses.

68
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[answering machine beeps]

69
00:03:03,601 --> 00:03:06,104
Hello, Coopers, Dr. Sturgis here.

70
00:03:06,646 --> 00:03:08,481
This is a message for Mary.

71
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,526
I have some news
I need to share with you

72
00:03:11,609 --> 00:03:13,736
before Sheldon starts college.

73
00:03:13,820 --> 00:03:15,279
Please call me back.

74
00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:16,614
[beep]

75
00:03:16,698 --> 00:03:19,075
I wonder why he'd wanna
talk to you and not me.

76
00:03:19,076 --> 00:03:20,200
[beep]

77
00:03:20,201 --> 00:03:21,619
Dr. Sturgis again.

78
00:03:21,620 --> 00:03:23,995
If Sheldon happened to hear
that last message

79
00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:27,750
and is wondering why I'd want to speak
to his mother first and not him...

80
00:03:29,794 --> 00:03:31,337
excellent question.

81
00:03:31,421 --> 00:03:37,552
It's that kind of curiosity
that makes him a true man of science.

82
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[beep]

83
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I'm a true man of science.

84
00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:46,276
[line ringing]

85
00:03:47,145 --> 00:03:48,195
[Dr. Sturgis] Hello?

86
00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:50,648
Hello, Dr. Sturgis, this is Mary Cooper.

87
00:03:50,732 --> 00:03:53,025
Hi. Thanks for calling me back.

88
00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:56,946
So, what's going on? Everything okay?

89
00:03:57,029 --> 00:03:59,407
Yes, everything is quite good, actually.

90
00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:02,827
Well, for me, that is. Um...

91
00:04:03,870 --> 00:04:08,708
Did you know there's a super collider
being built in Waxahachie, Texas?

92
00:04:08,785 --> 00:04:10,834
No.

93
00:04:10,835 --> 00:04:13,213
Do you know what a super collider is?

94
00:04:14,130 --> 00:04:15,180
Not really.

95
00:04:15,214 --> 00:04:17,049
Would you like a crash course,

96
00:04:17,133 --> 00:04:23,097
which is humorous because it involves
particles crashing into each other.

97
00:04:23,181 --> 00:04:25,891
I'd like you to tell me
what this has to do with Sheldon.

98
00:04:26,476 --> 00:04:29,228
Well, that part's less funny.

99
00:04:29,979 --> 00:04:31,564
I've taken a job there.

100
00:04:33,065 --> 00:04:34,115
Hold on.

101
00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:37,361
You're not gonna be around
when Sheldon starts college?

102
00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:39,322
That's a great question.

103
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:40,997
No.

104
00:04:41,449 --> 00:04:43,951
John, I agreed to let him go

105
00:04:44,035 --> 00:04:46,704
because you were gonna be there
to look after him.

106
00:04:46,788 --> 00:04:47,838
I know.

107
00:04:48,873 --> 00:04:50,374
And I feel terrible about it.

108
00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:52,710
But please understand.

109
00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:56,422
This is
a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

110
00:04:56,506 --> 00:04:58,216
I couldn't turn it down.

111
00:04:58,299 --> 00:04:59,967
Orientation starts next week.

112
00:05:00,051 --> 00:05:01,177
I'm aware.

113
00:05:02,178 --> 00:05:06,474
Well, I hope that you're ready
to hear him freak out when you tell him.

114
00:05:06,557 --> 00:05:08,684
I was kind of hoping
he'd just be excited

115
00:05:08,768 --> 00:05:10,728
I get to work on the super collider.

116
00:05:10,812 --> 00:05:14,065
Right, because being happy
for other people is where he shines.

117
00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:16,943
A super collider?
Well, you can't say no to that.

118
00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:18,451
I give up.

119
00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:20,321
Ooh, can you get me a bumper sticker?

120
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:24,325
Did you know
Dr. Sturgis was taking a new job?

121
00:05:25,034 --> 00:05:26,160
What job?

122
00:05:26,244 --> 00:05:29,914
He went to work
on some super collider in Waxahachie.

123
00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:31,624
What do you mean, went?

124
00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:32,917
He's already there.

125
00:05:33,543 --> 00:05:36,003
- When did you hear this?
- He just called.

126
00:05:36,087 --> 00:05:38,798
I was counting on him
to be there for Sheldon.

127
00:05:39,090 --> 00:05:41,676
Well, you'd think
he would have mentioned it to me.

128
00:05:41,677 --> 00:05:43,218
Sheldon says it's okay with him,

129
00:05:43,219 --> 00:05:44,928
but I would certainly feel a lot better

130
00:05:44,929 --> 00:05:47,098
if there were adults there
that I trusted.

131
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:49,320
Nothing on the answering machine.

132
00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:50,977
He's just a little boy,

133
00:05:50,978 --> 00:05:53,186
and he's gonna be on that big campus
all by himself.

134
00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:55,063
I mean, I know we're not dating anymore,

135
00:05:55,064 --> 00:05:56,899
but I thought we were still friends.

136
00:05:56,983 --> 00:05:58,109
Excuse me?

137
00:05:58,110 --> 00:06:00,694
I think you're focusing
on the wrong part of the story here.

138
00:06:00,695 --> 00:06:03,045
He's little, you're worried.
Please continue.

139
00:06:04,115 --> 00:06:05,241
That sums it up.

140
00:06:06,742 --> 00:06:07,827
Okay.

141
00:06:16,752 --> 00:06:17,802
Missy?

142
00:06:18,629 --> 00:06:19,679
[groans]

143
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,047
What?

144
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,258
Help me with my clothes.

145
00:06:23,009 --> 00:06:24,468
Burn them and get new ones.

146
00:06:24,927 --> 00:06:28,297
Please, it's freshman orientation.
I wanna make a good impression.

147
00:06:28,848 --> 00:06:30,016
Fine.

148
00:06:30,017 --> 00:06:33,602
Which bowtie says
"mature enough to be in college,

149
00:06:33,603 --> 00:06:35,937
but whimsical enough
to discuss which came first,

150
00:06:35,938 --> 00:06:37,498
the Higgs field or the photon"?

151
00:06:39,275 --> 00:06:41,325
They both say
"weird kid who eats alone."

152
00:06:41,611 --> 00:06:45,341
Come on, I know you were concerned
about what you'll wear to middle school.

153
00:06:45,865 --> 00:06:46,915
Show me again.

154
00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:50,620
The blue one, plaid's too busy.

155
00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:52,371
Thanks.

156
00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:54,123
Or don't be the kid in the bow tie.

157
00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:56,542
This is not the day to go crazy.

158
00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:04,425
My son, the college freshman.
I can't believe it.

159
00:07:04,508 --> 00:07:05,828
How can you not believe it?

160
00:07:05,927 --> 00:07:07,667
You had to sign my vaccination form.

161
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:10,723
Right. So, what do you wanna do first?

162
00:07:10,724 --> 00:07:12,974
I was thinking
we could start at the bookstore,

163
00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:14,477
try and beat the lines.

164
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:17,030
I agree about the lines.
But what do you mean "we"?

165
00:07:17,605 --> 00:07:19,065
I mean, you and me.

166
00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:20,232
This is my first day.

167
00:07:20,316 --> 00:07:22,906
I can't be seen walking around campus
with my mommy.

168
00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:25,529
Well, it's only orientation.

169
00:07:25,530 --> 00:07:27,989
Yes. And I'm quite capable
of handling everything

170
00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:29,783
that I need to get done today on my own.

171
00:07:29,784 --> 00:07:31,285
I'm sure you are.

172
00:07:31,369 --> 00:07:34,497
I just figured
with Dr. Sturgis not around,

173
00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:36,165
it might be nice if I could be.

174
00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:38,542
No one else's mother is going to be.

175
00:07:38,918 --> 00:07:39,968
You don't know that.

176
00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:41,712
Well, I know mine isn't.

177
00:07:41,713 --> 00:07:42,837
[scoffs]

178
00:07:42,838 --> 00:07:46,424
You might wanna watch the attitude
to the person who's driving you there.

179
00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:47,593
Not all the way there.

180
00:07:47,594 --> 00:07:50,136
Drop me off a block away
so no one sees us together.

181
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:53,015
Sorry, I am not leaving you alone
your first day.

182
00:07:53,099 --> 00:07:54,149
Yes, you are.

183
00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:58,562
For someone going into college,
you are acting very childish.

184
00:07:58,563 --> 00:08:02,065
Maybe it just appears that way
because you see me with my mommy.

185
00:08:02,066 --> 00:08:03,116
[gasps]

186
00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:08,204
Well, I remember putting
one of these together for Georgie.

187
00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:10,002
It is great having y'all next door.

188
00:08:10,003 --> 00:08:12,909
Did you not hear me
yelling at Georgie last night?

189
00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:16,121
It's okay. I'm sure you'll hear
our little one crying soon enough.

190
00:08:16,122 --> 00:08:17,373
Missy was a crier.

191
00:08:18,833 --> 00:08:22,420
Sheldon just learned to talk and said,
"Father, I have soiled myself."

192
00:08:23,004 --> 00:08:25,214
Well, he's a miracle in his own way.

193
00:08:25,215 --> 00:08:28,550
Well, you just put a positive spin
on everything, don't you?

194
00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:30,471
Kind of goes with the pastor territory.

195
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:33,973
Okay... what if I said,

196
00:08:34,724 --> 00:08:37,810
Mary and I have not had
a real vacation since we had kids?

197
00:08:37,990 --> 00:08:41,354
I like to believe starting a family

198
00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:43,585
will be the most
rewarding adventure of all.

199
00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:45,617
You're good.

200
00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:47,278
[chuckles]

201
00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,613
You could not be more wrong,
but you're good.

202
00:08:54,746 --> 00:09:00,123
Can you show me
where the used physics textbooks are?

203
00:09:00,124 --> 00:09:01,250
Follow me.

204
00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:03,683
Normally, I would prefer
a fresh new textbook.

205
00:09:03,684 --> 00:09:05,712
But my father
is a high school football coach,

206
00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:07,823
which is another way
of saying we're poor.

207
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:08,890
Here you go.

208
00:09:16,932 --> 00:09:18,517
Who owned this? A werewolf?

209
00:09:18,518 --> 00:09:20,060
[woman on radio]
Let's talk about the weather.

210
00:09:20,061 --> 00:09:22,103
It's going to be
a beautiful sunny day today,

211
00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:24,273
with temps reaching a high of 97.

212
00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:25,566
Gross.

213
00:09:25,567 --> 00:09:28,026
In other news,
President Bush will be traveling

214
00:09:28,027 --> 00:09:32,656
to Waxahachie later this month to visit
the site of a new super collider.

215
00:09:32,907 --> 00:09:35,017
Scientists are hopeful
this will lead to

216
00:09:35,034 --> 00:09:37,286
exciting discoveries in the world of...

217
00:09:37,828 --> 00:09:38,878
[knock at door]

218
00:09:39,699 --> 00:09:41,790
What?

219
00:09:41,791 --> 00:09:43,875
You said you'd show me
how to hot roll my hair.

220
00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:46,295
Oh, right. You still wanna do that?

221
00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:47,588
You're cranky.

222
00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:50,960
So maybe I shouldn't be putting
hot rollers on your head.

223
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,594
Nah, you're always cranky.
Let's do this.

224
00:09:58,933 --> 00:10:00,017
[Sheldon] Not so bad.

225
00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:03,209
I would've highlighted that.

226
00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,482
And someone drew genitals.

227
00:10:13,072 --> 00:10:14,698
Oh. Mrs. Cooper.

228
00:10:15,491 --> 00:10:16,659
Oh, hi.

229
00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:20,454
- Sam.
- Yes, of course.

230
00:10:20,996 --> 00:10:23,457
From Sheldon's physics class.

231
00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:25,835
- How are you?
- I'm good.

232
00:10:25,918 --> 00:10:27,962
Yeah. What brings you here?

233
00:10:28,504 --> 00:10:30,184
Sheldon's freshman orientation.

234
00:10:30,214 --> 00:10:31,799
Oh, sure.

235
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:33,906
You didn't wanna go with him?

236
00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:37,763
I did, but he made it very clear

237
00:10:37,847 --> 00:10:40,307
that he did not want me
anywhere near him today.

238
00:10:40,975 --> 00:10:43,685
Well, I don't know Sheldon well,
but he can be a little...

239
00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:45,938
Rude? Obnoxious? Condescending?

240
00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:47,606
Oh, hey, I do know him.

241
00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:48,740
[both chuckle]

242
00:10:49,567 --> 00:10:51,127
So, are you just gonna sit here?

243
00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:54,029
Well, just until it's time
to drive him home.

244
00:10:54,030 --> 00:10:56,281
Well, I can show you around campus.

245
00:10:56,282 --> 00:10:57,741
No, no, that's okay.

246
00:10:57,825 --> 00:11:00,536
Yeah. No, come on.
I'll buy you a school shirt.

247
00:11:00,828 --> 00:11:04,623
Oh, he would be mortified
to see me wearing one of those.

248
00:11:05,166 --> 00:11:07,126
That's why I'm offering.
Let's go.

249
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:08,760
Well...

250
00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:09,962
[both chuckling]

251
00:11:13,007 --> 00:11:15,593
Wow. You're really getting this
together fast.

252
00:11:15,594 --> 00:11:16,843
I feel like I'm not helping at all.

253
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:20,264
Come on now, you cut those oranges
into nice little wedges.

254
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:22,308
I do it for the kids at Sunday school.

255
00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:23,601
They go to town on them.

256
00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:29,398
Did you feel ready
before Georgie was born?

257
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,901
Absolutely. Boy, was I wrong.

258
00:11:33,235 --> 00:11:34,737
Why, getting nervous?

259
00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:37,156
Well, can't get a crib built on my own.

260
00:11:37,157 --> 00:11:39,240
How am I gonna be responsible
for a human life?

261
00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:42,244
You'll figure it out.
Ain't no sense in worrying about it

262
00:11:42,245 --> 00:11:45,288
'cause you never know what
kind of curveballs will come your way.

263
00:11:45,289 --> 00:11:46,373
Guess that's true.

264
00:11:46,374 --> 00:11:48,583
Doctors could tell us
we were having twins,

265
00:11:48,584 --> 00:11:51,114
but they couldn't warn us
we were having a Sheldon.

266
00:11:51,587 --> 00:11:53,157
- You don't think I'm gonna...
- No.

267
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:54,430
They broke the mold.

268
00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:57,927
But you could go the other way
and have a Georgie.

269
00:11:58,010 --> 00:12:00,596
So some terror is called for.

270
00:12:05,643 --> 00:12:08,353
If you highlight everything,
you highlight nothing.

271
00:12:08,771 --> 00:12:09,821
Uh-oh.

272
00:12:10,481 --> 00:12:13,011
Young man, don't move these books,
I have a system.

273
00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:15,778
- How does it look?
- Cute.

274
00:12:16,946 --> 00:12:17,996
Why are you here?

275
00:12:18,364 --> 00:12:19,573
I ran into Sam.

276
00:12:20,074 --> 00:12:21,659
Yes, you're a person I know.

277
00:12:22,076 --> 00:12:24,786
Hey, aren't you supposed
to be getting your ID photo?

278
00:12:25,037 --> 00:12:26,247
I got a little waylaid.

279
00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:27,380
Can I help?

280
00:12:27,665 --> 00:12:29,895
No, everything is perfectly
under control.

281
00:12:29,959 --> 00:12:32,789
And take off that sweatshirt.
You don't go to school here.

282
00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:34,880
See? Worth every penny.

283
00:12:36,632 --> 00:12:38,050
Stay calm, you can make it.

284
00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:40,768
[Sheldon gasps]

285
00:12:42,471 --> 00:12:44,807
Honestly, who drinks a Slurpee
at 11:00 a.m.?

286
00:12:46,976 --> 00:12:48,477
Will this make me look older?

287
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:49,610
Definitely.

288
00:12:49,645 --> 00:12:51,272
But not like you older, right?

289
00:12:52,314 --> 00:12:53,440
Right.

290
00:12:53,983 --> 00:12:55,818
You still dating that Marcus boy?

291
00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:59,307
Sort of. He went away
with his family for the summer.

292
00:13:01,282 --> 00:13:05,744
Just out of curiosity,
before he left, did he let you know?

293
00:13:05,745 --> 00:13:06,828
Mmm-hmm.

294
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:08,831
Hmm. Interesting.

295
00:13:08,914 --> 00:13:11,625
And how long before he left
did he tell you?

296
00:13:11,709 --> 00:13:13,002
I don't know, a week?

297
00:13:13,085 --> 00:13:14,753
Hmm. Must be nice.

298
00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:16,922
You hear from him at all?

299
00:13:17,006 --> 00:13:19,174
Yeah, he sent me the cutest postcard.

300
00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:21,427
It was a turtle surfing on a dolphin.

301
00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:23,227
Adorable.

302
00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:25,431
Pulling kind of hard.

303
00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:28,941
I made it. I'm here.

304
00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:31,520
Fill this out and sign...

305
00:13:32,396 --> 00:13:33,731
There's a bee on you.

306
00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:35,865
What?

307
00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:40,487
Hey, Sam.
Can I help y'all find anything?

308
00:13:40,488 --> 00:13:42,947
We're good.
Just showing my friend around campus.

309
00:13:42,948 --> 00:13:44,074
Oh, you a new student?

310
00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:47,369
- Actually...
- Jason, this is Mary.

311
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:49,038
Well, hello, Mary.

312
00:13:49,121 --> 00:13:50,921
Allow me to welcome you to our school.

313
00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:53,125
Thank you.

314
00:13:53,126 --> 00:13:55,376
My dorm is doing a
back-to-school barbecue this afternoon.

315
00:13:55,377 --> 00:13:57,671
- Y'all should swing by.
- Sounds fun.

316
00:13:58,005 --> 00:14:01,091
Cool. Braydon Hall,
in the courtyard, one o'clock.

317
00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:02,225
See you there.

318
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:04,560
Sweet, free food.

319
00:14:05,137 --> 00:14:07,097
Who cares? He thought I was a student.

320
00:14:11,352 --> 00:14:13,479
Okay, smile.

321
00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:15,182
[Sheldon] Just take the picture.

322
00:14:21,265 --> 00:14:25,698
[adult Sheldon]
I had suffered some setbacks.

323
00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:28,660
Butjust as Edison had forged ahead

324
00:14:28,786 --> 00:14:31,288
on electric lighting
without the help of Tesla,

325
00:14:31,289 --> 00:14:33,581
I was going to make it
through orientation

326
00:14:33,582 --> 00:14:35,292
without the help of my mommy.

327
00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:38,045
Even if she did make boo boos
stop hurting.

328
00:14:38,629 --> 00:14:41,924
While I had found inspiration,
courtesy of Thomas Edison,

329
00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:46,053
it was soon replaced
with anger at Whitcomb L. Judson,

330
00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:47,429
inventor of the zipper.

331
00:14:48,472 --> 00:14:49,556
Oh, come on.

332
00:14:51,642 --> 00:14:52,692
What do you think?

333
00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:55,952
I think you're gonna be
a little heartbreaker.

334
00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:57,719
I don't wanna break anyone's heart.

335
00:14:57,773 --> 00:14:58,857
I just wanna look hot.

336
00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:01,485
- Well, that you do.
- Thank you.

337
00:15:02,236 --> 00:15:04,946
And there's nothing wrong
with breaking some hearts.

338
00:15:05,823 --> 00:15:08,784
If you don't do it to them,
they're gonna do it to you.

339
00:15:08,785 --> 00:15:10,368
Why would they do that?

340
00:15:10,369 --> 00:15:11,828
Because sometimes men do things

341
00:15:11,829 --> 00:15:14,163
without thinking
how it's gonna make you feel.

342
00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:16,154
Marcus wouldn't do that.
We're friends.

343
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:18,001
That don't mean nothing.

344
00:15:18,836 --> 00:15:20,576
You think somebody is your friend,

345
00:15:20,838 --> 00:15:23,632
then they just up and leave
without a word.

346
00:15:23,715 --> 00:15:24,967
But Marcus told me.

347
00:15:26,552 --> 00:15:27,970
"But Marcus told me."

348
00:15:27,971 --> 00:15:31,389
[adult Sheldon]
Like Batman's utility belt...

349
00:15:31,390 --> 00:15:34,518
...my briefcase was equipped
for any emergency.

350
00:15:34,786 --> 00:15:38,563
I don't know if
the Batpants had a zipper,

351
00:15:38,564 --> 00:15:40,482
but if they did, I could fix it.

352
00:15:44,236 --> 00:15:45,362
Oh, dear.

353
00:15:48,574 --> 00:15:51,243
Two months,
two months till this baby comes.

354
00:15:51,244 --> 00:15:53,703
There's so much I thought
I was gonna do in my life.

355
00:15:53,704 --> 00:15:55,164
I'm sure you've done plenty.

356
00:15:55,247 --> 00:15:56,297
Nothing cool.

357
00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:59,626
Look at you.
You played football, rode a motorcycle.

358
00:15:59,627 --> 00:16:00,751
Well...

359
00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:03,255
You save people's souls.
That's neat, right?

360
00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:04,478
It's neat as neat can be.

361
00:16:04,479 --> 00:16:06,757
But you know that's not
what I'm talking about.

362
00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:07,968
[sighs]

363
00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:11,513
Look, being a dad
doesn't mean your life is over.

364
00:16:11,597 --> 00:16:13,037
It just means it's different.

365
00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:15,808
Instead of playing football,
I get to coach it now.

366
00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:19,646
I mean, high school football.
Not college, like I'd hoped.

367
00:16:21,106 --> 00:16:23,734
Instead of a motorcycle,
I drive a truck...

368
00:16:24,902 --> 00:16:26,570
to work every single day...

369
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:29,531
to pay the bills.

370
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:32,534
Endless bills.

371
00:16:34,077 --> 00:16:35,579
What happened to my life?

372
00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:39,131
Orange wedge?

373
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:44,545
[adult Sheldon] With only seven minutes
until my freshman orientation seminar,

374
00:16:44,546 --> 00:16:46,006
I was in a sticky spot.

375
00:16:46,632 --> 00:16:50,052
Thankfully, I was armed
with an even stickier solution.

376
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,718
["Two Princes" by Spin Doctors playing]

377
00:16:58,227 --> 00:16:59,394
Ah! You made it.

378
00:16:59,937 --> 00:17:00,987
- Hey.
- Hi.

379
00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:02,773
Hey, guys, this is Sam and Mary.

380
00:17:03,065 --> 00:17:04,115
[all cheering]

381
00:17:05,609 --> 00:17:07,486
Well, aren't y'all friendly.

382
00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:10,405
[dean] We are so excited
to have you here today.

383
00:17:10,406 --> 00:17:13,157
This is the most competitive year
we've had for admissions.

384
00:17:13,158 --> 00:17:16,118
So you should feel really good
about your accomplishments.

385
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:18,497
You belong to an elite group
of scholars...

386
00:17:19,665 --> 00:17:20,715
[grunting]

387
00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:24,218
[door slams]

388
00:17:25,629 --> 00:17:28,759
I may not look it, but I'm
the future of physics, so just move on.

389
00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:33,762
- You have kids?
- Three.

390
00:17:34,263 --> 00:17:36,431
- You look amazing.
- Oh!

391
00:17:36,515 --> 00:17:38,100
Two of them are twins.

392
00:17:38,559 --> 00:17:41,061
I don't wanna brag, but natural birth.

393
00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:42,563
- [chuckles]
- Whoa.

394
00:17:43,814 --> 00:17:45,023
I love college.

395
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:46,157
[both giggling]

396
00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:52,121
[engine starting]

397
00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:06,552
John.

398
00:18:14,110 --> 00:18:16,679
[Dr. Sturgis] Dear Connie,

399
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,515
you may have heard I've taken a job

400
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,268
at the new super collider in Waxahachie.

401
00:18:21,852 --> 00:18:26,940
I wanted to tell you in person,
but I was afraid you'd be upset.

402
00:18:27,858 --> 00:18:33,196
And honestly, I was even more afraid
you wouldn't be.

403
00:18:34,031 --> 00:18:35,532
Oh, John.

404
00:18:35,866 --> 00:18:39,453
This also gives me an excuse
to use my astronaut pen.

405
00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:44,541
I'm not upside down,
but if I was, it would still write.

406
00:18:44,542 --> 00:18:46,042
[Dr. Sturgis chuckles]

407
00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:47,543
[motorcycle engine roaring]

408
00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:50,764
How you doing back there?

409
00:18:50,839 --> 00:18:52,966
I've never felt so alive.

410
00:18:53,759 --> 00:18:56,303
Praise the Lord!

411
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:00,766
Let's go to Mexico.

412
00:19:03,352 --> 00:19:05,103
[theme music playing]

413
00:19:05,153 --> 00:19:09,703
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